The world that you know has been broken by an utter breach of trust by the person that should have honored it the most.
Divorce Advice - What to Do When Your Wife Cheats on You
If you have or are experiencing this now, I am sorry. You may be asking yourself these questions: What happened?
Is my marriage over? Can it be saved? Do I even want to save it? There are so many things to confront, but the main question is, what now?
This is understandable. She was unfaithful. Take your time working through the steps below before deciding anything. Do whatever it takes to save your marriage before walking away. Remember that she is their mother. They do not need to know the details or even who is at fault.
Here’s Exactly What to Do After Cheating on Your Partner
Do not put them in the position of choosing sides. Tell them you and their mom are having a hard time. Affirm your love for them and continue to spend as much time with them as you can. When all is said and done, you want to be able to look at them and tell them that you did everything you could to save the marriage and keep the family together.
You need to let them loose. Your feelings are legitimate. They will only surface later in the form of poison-filled bitterness.
Feel deep, identify those feelings, and articulate them. If you have not already done it, confront your wife when you are under control. Be ready for her to place blame your way. Ask questions and gather as much information as possible. Calmly tell her exactly how you feel. This will take multiple sessions. You need to get away where you have quiet time to think and reflect. Remove distractions. I would highly recommend enlisting help and direction from God. Separating for a while may be healthy.
However, your marriage most likely got to an unhealthy place and that takes two people.
Think through and identify the ways that you contributed. Own the part you played and what you can do different going forward.
There is a deep pain and loneliness. The temptation will be to numb or distract yourself from it. Tessina, Ph. It is possible to find an extraordinary love after breaking up or divorcing late in life, but most of my clients report that the potential partners out there are no better than the ones they left.
How to repair your relationship after someone cheats
That said, there are different definitions of cheating , and technology adds another aspect to cheating, too. The bottom line is: If you and your partner have different definitions of cheating, you should have a conversation about it. Of course, cheating may be an automatic deal-breaker for you. However, you may be conflicted as to what you should do. Some people who cheat do it as a one-time thing while others have entire secret relationships with someone on the side.
In any case, when you find out about the cheating, you and your partner need to have a heart-to-heart conversation. Then, you need to pay attention to their attitude toward their behavior, according to Dr. Tessina says. As much as you may speak to your own therapist about your partner straying, going to one with your partner can also help determine if you two can take the steps to work things out. Both parties must approach the problem with a sincere wish to discover what went wrong and fix it.
Forgiveness is an important part of the healing process, whether the couple stays together or not. A big question is: Can you and your partner fix the underlying problems you have, especially whatever made them cheat? Therapists are amazing, but if you cannot let go of the cheating, or at least try, it may be difficult to continue the relationship.
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